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Michael Gentle's avatar

If high teen use of SM is the result of not being able to get together IRL (in real life), rather than its intrinsic addictive value, then the real problem would seem to be the curtailment of IRL activity, rather than SM itself. In which case over-protective parenting would seem to be the most plausible explanation.

Perhaps parents should hold up this article as a mirror in which to consider their own role in their children’s mental health. To paraphrase JFK, ask not what your teen can do for you, ask what you can do for your teen.

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Beth Hankoff's avatar

The teen responses make sense to me as a neurodivergent parent with autistic kids. For me and for one of my children, socializing in person can be stressful. You feel like you are on the spot, expected to come up with the right phrasing to participate in the conversation. I prefer writing to talking for that reason. I also like to get into online discussions and social media.

My son went through a video game stage in his teens, and now likes to browse social media and informational sites. He has learned a tremendous amount from watching educational YouTube videos. When he was playing video games a lot I was concerned, but I read somewhere that kids with autism can feel like that is the only arena where they have control. It becomes a retreat from the stresses of the neurotypical world. I think he also felt more comfortable socializing with the brief comments they make to each other in the context of the game. He is now looking into being a creator of some sort - he has taught himself digital animation skills and also wants to do a podcast.

I agree that we need to be less skeptical about new technology. I'm in my fifties and I tend to embrace it for its usefulness. The boundaries you described are perfect! First and foremost is letting teens have more interaction with the real world: friendships, starting businesses, or whatever they are interested in. Then we can be a little more open about their use of technology.

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