My 10 yr old son plays regularly with our neighbor who is 5. I love that he's able to do this - as it keeps him in that imaginative make-believe state to keep the 5 yr old interested. My son even got some other neighborhood friends (12 and 10) to join in and they play in the 5 yr old's house and yard. I love it how my son included the 5 yr old in their summer play time and not immediately discount him b/c of his age. But maybe b/c I homeschool my son so we really don't age-segregate for most things. He was also on a robotics team as the youngest at 9, and all the other kids were in middle school so he had to "play up" and be the follower. I like how my son gets to experience these different roles - I do see different parts of his personality emerge out of the various situations.
As I read this piece, it struck me that an additional benefit of mixed-age play is for children who are slightly less mature or slower to develop than their peers. These children can find compatible playmates in slightly younger friends, which can ward off what might otherwise become social rejection and/or isolation.
This is exactly what I observe on our new street, with our two kids and the 7 neighbor kids, who range in age from 2 to 10. While the older kids sometimes take themselves off to play by themselves, and the kids who are very close in age are best friends, they all are mostly thrilled to play with anyone available. The 2-year-old arrives with her older sister, who is 5, and the 10-year-old and 8-year-olds make sure that everyone is playing safely with the toddler, and that she is involved. My 4-year-old is the next youngest, and one of only two boys, so he naturally wants to imitate the 8-year-old boy next door, and is thrilled when that kid will play catch with him. But he also loves to play games with the older girls, who understand that he’s much less annoying if they give him a role to play in their imagination play. The mom of the 10-year-old has mentioned that her daughter has struggled with socializing at school, possibly because she’s at the younger end of the age bracket for her grade, but with the kids on our block she’s a wonderful role model and very responsible, which hopefully has helped her self-confidence. My older kid just turned 9 and has all the little girls on the street wanting to play with her, and she and the 10-year-old team up to keep things fun for everyone, which is great for her leadership abilities, and her relationship with the 10-year-old (who is almost 11 now) is also helping her grow.
We are so thrilled with our new street and the community of kids here. It’s not something we were able to look for while house hunting as “neighborhood with lots of kids” isn’t on the listings, but we got lucky and found one with parents who are willing to let their kids run down the block to play with the neighbors!
Was that just good timing or did your article heighten my observational powers? I just watched a volleyball game involving 2 12-14-year-olds on one side and 4 kids on the other side between about 5 and 14. It looked like a living example of the article, with modified rules, taking mixed capacities into account etc., but the main feature was having lots of fun without any specific aim and zero adult involvement.
Happy to have finally joined Substack to read your work, Mr.Gray! You would perhaps appreciate the work of LifeWays North America. Our principles and practices align with much of what I’ve read from you recently. This topic of mixed age play is a good example. I appreciate your research and writing, your encouragement of families to seek better ways of seeing, supporting and caring for their children.
As a home educating parent I saw all of these factors and benefits of mixed age play (and working together) in my children. It's one of the things I loved most about homeschooling them.
Yes, yes, yes! And mixed-aged grouping are also great in other playful learning environments. All of our nature-connection/nature-science groups are multi-age. Just another way that learning is powered by diversity and relationships!
My 10 yr old son plays regularly with our neighbor who is 5. I love that he's able to do this - as it keeps him in that imaginative make-believe state to keep the 5 yr old interested. My son even got some other neighborhood friends (12 and 10) to join in and they play in the 5 yr old's house and yard. I love it how my son included the 5 yr old in their summer play time and not immediately discount him b/c of his age. But maybe b/c I homeschool my son so we really don't age-segregate for most things. He was also on a robotics team as the youngest at 9, and all the other kids were in middle school so he had to "play up" and be the follower. I like how my son gets to experience these different roles - I do see different parts of his personality emerge out of the various situations.
As I read this piece, it struck me that an additional benefit of mixed-age play is for children who are slightly less mature or slower to develop than their peers. These children can find compatible playmates in slightly younger friends, which can ward off what might otherwise become social rejection and/or isolation.
Yes, in fact this is one of the benefits I will discuss in the next letter on the value of age-mixed play.
This is exactly what I observe on our new street, with our two kids and the 7 neighbor kids, who range in age from 2 to 10. While the older kids sometimes take themselves off to play by themselves, and the kids who are very close in age are best friends, they all are mostly thrilled to play with anyone available. The 2-year-old arrives with her older sister, who is 5, and the 10-year-old and 8-year-olds make sure that everyone is playing safely with the toddler, and that she is involved. My 4-year-old is the next youngest, and one of only two boys, so he naturally wants to imitate the 8-year-old boy next door, and is thrilled when that kid will play catch with him. But he also loves to play games with the older girls, who understand that he’s much less annoying if they give him a role to play in their imagination play. The mom of the 10-year-old has mentioned that her daughter has struggled with socializing at school, possibly because she’s at the younger end of the age bracket for her grade, but with the kids on our block she’s a wonderful role model and very responsible, which hopefully has helped her self-confidence. My older kid just turned 9 and has all the little girls on the street wanting to play with her, and she and the 10-year-old team up to keep things fun for everyone, which is great for her leadership abilities, and her relationship with the 10-year-old (who is almost 11 now) is also helping her grow.
We are so thrilled with our new street and the community of kids here. It’s not something we were able to look for while house hunting as “neighborhood with lots of kids” isn’t on the listings, but we got lucky and found one with parents who are willing to let their kids run down the block to play with the neighbors!
Thank you for this story. You are lucky to be living on a street where neighborhood play still exists.
Was that just good timing or did your article heighten my observational powers? I just watched a volleyball game involving 2 12-14-year-olds on one side and 4 kids on the other side between about 5 and 14. It looked like a living example of the article, with modified rules, taking mixed capacities into account etc., but the main feature was having lots of fun without any specific aim and zero adult involvement.
Happy to have finally joined Substack to read your work, Mr.Gray! You would perhaps appreciate the work of LifeWays North America. Our principles and practices align with much of what I’ve read from you recently. This topic of mixed age play is a good example. I appreciate your research and writing, your encouragement of families to seek better ways of seeing, supporting and caring for their children.
As a home educating parent I saw all of these factors and benefits of mixed age play (and working together) in my children. It's one of the things I loved most about homeschooling them.
Yes, yes, yes! And mixed-aged grouping are also great in other playful learning environments. All of our nature-connection/nature-science groups are multi-age. Just another way that learning is powered by diversity and relationships!