Age mixing among children and teens reduces bullying, promotes empathy, helps socially inhibited kids overcome inhibitions, provides extra care for little ones, and provides parenting practice for old
Everything you said is true! My 10 yr old son (only child) has become much more caring playing w/ our 5yr old neighbor ("O") who is autistic. He routinely tells me how he calmed O down or prevented him from doing something not appropriate. O would have tantrums if my son had to leave or couldn't play that day. My son would start giving him a 10-minute warning before my son had to leave for the day so O wouldn't be freak out. In the beginning when O would cry if my son had to leave, my son would stick around a little longer to explain why he had to go and that he can play again next time. Now, O is totally calm when playtime is over. Once, my son told me O almost jumped into the back of the Fedex truck when the delivery man stopped at their house but my son grabbed O by his hood to literally stop him in his tracks.
Ironically, my son's other BFF ("A") down the street (also 10) - both of them love playing at O's house. "A" has a younger brother "C" who is 5, but C and O don't really play together. LOL.
I do notice that of my friends that have 3+ children, the ones closer in age fight, whereas the oldest ones will get along fine with the youngest ones. That thinking that a close age gap between siblings will make them best of friends is total rubbish.
I am just beginning my parenting journey and I’m enjoying every bit of these letters. I do admit I have some anxiety about giving my children the opportunity to play with peers that they will obviously so desperately need in a world that is no longer built for optimal play.
I experienced some of these benefits of playing when, in my senior year of high school, my sister had a son (Chris) who I enjoyed playing with so much that I decided to spend my last semester playing with Chris rather than go to classes more than once a week (I had been accepted to a University in January on the basis of my test scores, so school wasnt exactly relevant anymore). Although I did have a few close friends, I was in general socially awkward. Yet in playing with Chris, I did not have to be brought out of my shell; instead I quickly discovered that I was very good at relating to him, that seemingly I "got" him even better than his own mother did in fact. This created a feeling in me that I just might have something to offer the world after all.
I went off to study Astronomy with only modest success; but because of my experience with Chris I would discover the writings of John Holt a couple years later, and it completely changed who I was and what I cared about.
Dear Peter, I've been working on a Instagram series of videos in Portuguese, talking about the major points you make in the book 'Free to Learn', I'm Brazilian and we haven't got a translation of your book yet, so that has been my way of "letting others know about it". I'd love your blessing on this series and would be deeply honored to interview you, and translate the materials to our channels. I'm a masters student at Unicamp and speak about the importance of play in development and learning on social media. Please get back to me on semeandobrincadeiras@gmail.com in case you are interested. PS: You are largely admired over here. Thanks for all of your work.
One of my most favorite scenes (and the sweetest!) when watching mixed-age groups of kids play is seeing the ~12-14 yr old boys "step up" and take care of the littlest ones. The boys on the cusp of manhood revel in being heroes and protectors; the little kids adore climbing onto their shoulders and backs and having "big kids" to look up to.
Everything you said is true! My 10 yr old son (only child) has become much more caring playing w/ our 5yr old neighbor ("O") who is autistic. He routinely tells me how he calmed O down or prevented him from doing something not appropriate. O would have tantrums if my son had to leave or couldn't play that day. My son would start giving him a 10-minute warning before my son had to leave for the day so O wouldn't be freak out. In the beginning when O would cry if my son had to leave, my son would stick around a little longer to explain why he had to go and that he can play again next time. Now, O is totally calm when playtime is over. Once, my son told me O almost jumped into the back of the Fedex truck when the delivery man stopped at their house but my son grabbed O by his hood to literally stop him in his tracks.
Ironically, my son's other BFF ("A") down the street (also 10) - both of them love playing at O's house. "A" has a younger brother "C" who is 5, but C and O don't really play together. LOL.
I do notice that of my friends that have 3+ children, the ones closer in age fight, whereas the oldest ones will get along fine with the youngest ones. That thinking that a close age gap between siblings will make them best of friends is total rubbish.
I am just beginning my parenting journey and I’m enjoying every bit of these letters. I do admit I have some anxiety about giving my children the opportunity to play with peers that they will obviously so desperately need in a world that is no longer built for optimal play.
It takes more effort than it did in the past to find such play opportunities, but it can be done. I wish you well on your journey.
So interesting! I'm glad that I'm able to home school my children and provide opportunities to interact with kids of mixed ages
I experienced some of these benefits of playing when, in my senior year of high school, my sister had a son (Chris) who I enjoyed playing with so much that I decided to spend my last semester playing with Chris rather than go to classes more than once a week (I had been accepted to a University in January on the basis of my test scores, so school wasnt exactly relevant anymore). Although I did have a few close friends, I was in general socially awkward. Yet in playing with Chris, I did not have to be brought out of my shell; instead I quickly discovered that I was very good at relating to him, that seemingly I "got" him even better than his own mother did in fact. This created a feeling in me that I just might have something to offer the world after all.
I went off to study Astronomy with only modest success; but because of my experience with Chris I would discover the writings of John Holt a couple years later, and it completely changed who I was and what I cared about.
Dear Peter, I've been working on a Instagram series of videos in Portuguese, talking about the major points you make in the book 'Free to Learn', I'm Brazilian and we haven't got a translation of your book yet, so that has been my way of "letting others know about it". I'd love your blessing on this series and would be deeply honored to interview you, and translate the materials to our channels. I'm a masters student at Unicamp and speak about the importance of play in development and learning on social media. Please get back to me on semeandobrincadeiras@gmail.com in case you are interested. PS: You are largely admired over here. Thanks for all of your work.
I don't just think mixed-age groups are beneficial for play; they're important for schooling and learning, especially at the elementary level.
One of my most favorite scenes (and the sweetest!) when watching mixed-age groups of kids play is seeing the ~12-14 yr old boys "step up" and take care of the littlest ones. The boys on the cusp of manhood revel in being heroes and protectors; the little kids adore climbing onto their shoulders and backs and having "big kids" to look up to.