For the past 15 years I thought that my professional identity was about youth autonomy, Self-Directed Education, and liberation. But I was doing it mostly unpaid, was trampling all over the limitations of what it meant to be an educator / school director, and lived to create new possibilities for young people and their parents and guardians. I guess I was an amateur this whole time. To be fully professional would have required me to make too many compromises. I appreciate this post for how it helps me think about my 'work.'
This is a really helpful piece, it's interesting to contrast the sense of freedom, exploration and growth within the two frames, and the importance of how we identify ourselves. It reminds me of the distinction Agnes Callard makes between aspiration and ambition, the latter being much more externally driven in alignment with societal expectations. There are significant differences in the interplay between our inner-world an the outer-world between the stances of amateurism and professionalism that brings that feeling of freedom vs constraint.
The great Maya Deren exalted the freedom of amateurism exactly as you have here, in her 1965 mini-article 'Amateur Versus Professional'. Reading that, as slight as it is, a few years ago felt like I was being permitted to breathe again. She made the point that the amateur - free from the shackles of budgets and deadlines and 'industry' and obligation - are in fact envied by professionals. I keep having to remind myself of this, whenever I realise I'm slipping into the vortex of 'the grind'.
I am absolutely loving these articles on 'work', 'play', 'professionalism' and 'amateurism'. SO many people in society need to read them!
Like all great truths, you make things blindingly obvious - 'Why didn't I ever think of that??!'
Something that bothers me hugely is the fact that our current society has so many accepted norms which are never questioned. It bothers me because an outcome of this is that far too many people go through life almost blindfolded - always trying to seek 'success' or 'happiness' or 'achievement', without realising that all of these things can be achieved in myriad ways.
For myself - I think I've always struggled with being a 'professional'.
I had a hideous school career. Out of school I learned the piano (my parents were both - ha! - keen amateurs who just loved classical music), but I hated that too. I had to go through the exam system prevalent in the UK. I dreaded the exams and only ever scraped through (with one failed). Eventually my parents let me give up and at the age of 17 I dropped the piano from a great height, never to pick it back up again. I again scraped through an academic music exam at school, but that was down to luck, not knowledge or understanding. So when I went to teacher training college at the age of 18, I was completely convinced that I was 'not musical' - I was a rubbish piano player, I couldn't do aural tests, I couldn't sight-sing, theory was a complete mystery to me.
I had been class teaching for two years when my head teacher (principal) asked me to be in charge of music. Ha ha!!! I said yes because I got paid more... She was mad keen on music and used to teach each class herself once a week (4-8 year olds). I was suddenly handed all the classes once a week too - and realised I had not the first clue what to do with them. After about six months of struggling, she sent me on a Kodály course, with the words, 'I've done some - why don't you go? I think you'd love it.'
She was right - I was immediately entranced by this THING that was a zillion miles away from how I'd learned (or not learned) music. My ears and eyes and brain woke up in a way that they never had before. I realised that not only here was the most wonderful way to teach music - but it was teaching ME too. Gradually I learned how to do all the things that had been beyond me previously. I had grown up thinking that you were either 'good at music' or 'not musical' - I hadn't actually realised that you can be TAUGHT. As Kodály said, 'A child will learn anything if there is someone who knows how to teach him.' Kodály unlocked all this music I had inside me but which I never knew was there.
To cut a very long story short, I'm now one of the UK's most experienced Kodály practitioners. I've trained teachers all over the world, taught a huge variety of children in many different settings, written books and articles - and now teach adults and train teachers online.
BUT I have ALWAYS struggled with describing myself as a 'musician' - and certainly not a 'professional musician'. Maybe it's 'impostor syndrome' - but it just never sat comfortably with me. My description of myself was 'a teacher passionate about the art of teaching and about helping people develop and feel confident and good about themselves - done through the medium of music.'
My students laugh at me when I say, 'I'm not a musician', but it's how I feel. I've learned a lot of musical skills...I've found a deep musicality inside me...but I'm not, and never will be, a 'musician.'
A near miss on the difference between amateur and professional (and really, the definition of play):
An amateur wants to do it.
A professional HAS to do it (to get paid).
It's the same with play. A person playing football in the backyard with their friends wants to do it. A professional (Tom Brady) *HAS* to play (do) football.
Granted, Tom Brady may love playing football, but he still has to do football to get paid.
"I am not only researching and writing about children’s needs for more play and freedom; I am actively working for causes to promote such ends."
As somebody who has greatly benefited from your work, I'd like to say thank you for becoming a professional amateur LOL 😆 As always, great thoughts to ponder!
I am a part-time phd student. I had a great job and some free time, so I thought - why not?! So, I applied for the PhD, and got in. I have enjoyed every single minute of my studies. But I have always been treating it as a hobby, not as my main occupation.
Now that I'm half-way done with the studies, and looking for a new job in academia, I have been asked to start publishing in Q1 journals. Suddenly I am under pressure to treat my hobby as a profession and it's quite scary. On the one hand, I love the freedom to research and write what I like and how I like, on the other hand, I would like to, I guess, become professional, which comes with its rules.
Peter, thank you for this piece. Reading your take on the values of Amateurism reminds me also of the Zen concept of "Beginner's mind" and how professionalization and expertise can interfere with it.
As a sidenote, it was energizing to see Ingold's name come up. I had recently come across his ideas on enskillment (which, as I reflect on it now, seems to have a lot of connections to play!). Thank you for mentioning that essay in Ethnos. I look forward to reading it.
For the past 15 years I thought that my professional identity was about youth autonomy, Self-Directed Education, and liberation. But I was doing it mostly unpaid, was trampling all over the limitations of what it meant to be an educator / school director, and lived to create new possibilities for young people and their parents and guardians. I guess I was an amateur this whole time. To be fully professional would have required me to make too many compromises. I appreciate this post for how it helps me think about my 'work.'
This is a really helpful piece, it's interesting to contrast the sense of freedom, exploration and growth within the two frames, and the importance of how we identify ourselves. It reminds me of the distinction Agnes Callard makes between aspiration and ambition, the latter being much more externally driven in alignment with societal expectations. There are significant differences in the interplay between our inner-world an the outer-world between the stances of amateurism and professionalism that brings that feeling of freedom vs constraint.
Great post.
That is such a great point– I enjoyed Aspiration so much, and I appreciate this connection, John.
Learning to Play Music When You are Too Old to Ever Get Really Good At It. https://katherinewoconnor.substack.com/p/learning-to-play-music-when-you-are
I have 24 Substack posts on this subject.
The great Maya Deren exalted the freedom of amateurism exactly as you have here, in her 1965 mini-article 'Amateur Versus Professional'. Reading that, as slight as it is, a few years ago felt like I was being permitted to breathe again. She made the point that the amateur - free from the shackles of budgets and deadlines and 'industry' and obligation - are in fact envied by professionals. I keep having to remind myself of this, whenever I realise I'm slipping into the vortex of 'the grind'.
I am absolutely loving these articles on 'work', 'play', 'professionalism' and 'amateurism'. SO many people in society need to read them!
Like all great truths, you make things blindingly obvious - 'Why didn't I ever think of that??!'
Something that bothers me hugely is the fact that our current society has so many accepted norms which are never questioned. It bothers me because an outcome of this is that far too many people go through life almost blindfolded - always trying to seek 'success' or 'happiness' or 'achievement', without realising that all of these things can be achieved in myriad ways.
For myself - I think I've always struggled with being a 'professional'.
I had a hideous school career. Out of school I learned the piano (my parents were both - ha! - keen amateurs who just loved classical music), but I hated that too. I had to go through the exam system prevalent in the UK. I dreaded the exams and only ever scraped through (with one failed). Eventually my parents let me give up and at the age of 17 I dropped the piano from a great height, never to pick it back up again. I again scraped through an academic music exam at school, but that was down to luck, not knowledge or understanding. So when I went to teacher training college at the age of 18, I was completely convinced that I was 'not musical' - I was a rubbish piano player, I couldn't do aural tests, I couldn't sight-sing, theory was a complete mystery to me.
I had been class teaching for two years when my head teacher (principal) asked me to be in charge of music. Ha ha!!! I said yes because I got paid more... She was mad keen on music and used to teach each class herself once a week (4-8 year olds). I was suddenly handed all the classes once a week too - and realised I had not the first clue what to do with them. After about six months of struggling, she sent me on a Kodály course, with the words, 'I've done some - why don't you go? I think you'd love it.'
She was right - I was immediately entranced by this THING that was a zillion miles away from how I'd learned (or not learned) music. My ears and eyes and brain woke up in a way that they never had before. I realised that not only here was the most wonderful way to teach music - but it was teaching ME too. Gradually I learned how to do all the things that had been beyond me previously. I had grown up thinking that you were either 'good at music' or 'not musical' - I hadn't actually realised that you can be TAUGHT. As Kodály said, 'A child will learn anything if there is someone who knows how to teach him.' Kodály unlocked all this music I had inside me but which I never knew was there.
To cut a very long story short, I'm now one of the UK's most experienced Kodály practitioners. I've trained teachers all over the world, taught a huge variety of children in many different settings, written books and articles - and now teach adults and train teachers online.
BUT I have ALWAYS struggled with describing myself as a 'musician' - and certainly not a 'professional musician'. Maybe it's 'impostor syndrome' - but it just never sat comfortably with me. My description of myself was 'a teacher passionate about the art of teaching and about helping people develop and feel confident and good about themselves - done through the medium of music.'
My students laugh at me when I say, 'I'm not a musician', but it's how I feel. I've learned a lot of musical skills...I've found a deep musicality inside me...but I'm not, and never will be, a 'musician.'
Conundrum!
Thank you for sharing this, Cyrilla. Great story.
A near miss on the difference between amateur and professional (and really, the definition of play):
An amateur wants to do it.
A professional HAS to do it (to get paid).
It's the same with play. A person playing football in the backyard with their friends wants to do it. A professional (Tom Brady) *HAS* to play (do) football.
Granted, Tom Brady may love playing football, but he still has to do football to get paid.
"I am not only researching and writing about children’s needs for more play and freedom; I am actively working for causes to promote such ends."
As somebody who has greatly benefited from your work, I'd like to say thank you for becoming a professional amateur LOL 😆 As always, great thoughts to ponder!
I am a part-time phd student. I had a great job and some free time, so I thought - why not?! So, I applied for the PhD, and got in. I have enjoyed every single minute of my studies. But I have always been treating it as a hobby, not as my main occupation.
Now that I'm half-way done with the studies, and looking for a new job in academia, I have been asked to start publishing in Q1 journals. Suddenly I am under pressure to treat my hobby as a profession and it's quite scary. On the one hand, I love the freedom to research and write what I like and how I like, on the other hand, I would like to, I guess, become professional, which comes with its rules.
Peter, thank you for this piece. Reading your take on the values of Amateurism reminds me also of the Zen concept of "Beginner's mind" and how professionalization and expertise can interfere with it.
As a sidenote, it was energizing to see Ingold's name come up. I had recently come across his ideas on enskillment (which, as I reflect on it now, seems to have a lot of connections to play!). Thank you for mentioning that essay in Ethnos. I look forward to reading it.