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Sep 1, 2023·edited Sep 1, 2023Liked by Peter Gray

Just today I saw a mom who was riding her bike with her young son who had training wheels on his bike. He briefly stood up off the saddle as he rode, and mom immediately chastised him, "Bottom on the seat, please."

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Control freak.

Control frea--

Now you say "Control freak who?!"

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I think you're missing an element in your 6 elements of risky play.

#7: Critters. Being around critters, whether it's a pet dog, the garter snake in the garden or holding a tarantula can provide some risk. You could get hurt roughhousing with your big dog or the tarantula might bite you, etc. but learning to be comfortable around critters is an important part of being a human/adult. Sure, not all of the critters have real risk (a garter snake is harmless, a cat might scratch you, but not really hurt you), but it's like climbing to the first branch on a tree.

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I completely agree! I began mentally adding risky animal interactions to my mental list of risky play after watching young children. If they have the chance, they tend to push closer and closer to slightly scary animals (holding spiders, meeting a big dog, catching a lizard, etc.). My son plays games with our cat that have a high likelihood of ending with scratches, and I remember the thrill of the same games as a kid. I also think it’s remarkable how carefully most children will note the details of truly dangerous animals. They almost universally love learning about venomous snakes and spiders and large carnivores.

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I was living in downtown San Diego in the late 90's (the "Gaslamp"; inexpensive) when I decided to take the trolley (light rail) toward El Cajon in the east, just to see what was out there, and witnessed something remarkable. At a stop which was now in a very suburban area, there was a large gathering of students near where the trolley had stopped. I saw what appeared to be a fight, with lots of other students looking on. " Great", I thought, but then decided to watch, having nothing else to do. 2 teenage boys were fighting, but only by making hard open handed slaps. Even so, when one of them got slapped hard, the other wouldn't necessarily like it very much, and would then sometimes begin to respond more aggressively ... at which point one of 2 other very strong and capable looking boys would step in and make them take a pause. They weren't breaking up the fight, they were referreeing! At first this scene seemed kinda crazy (Fight Club?) but then I got to thinking: they might be actually learning useful things there. For one thing, they learned they could take a hard slap and live - they wouldn't like it, it was something worth avoiding, but they would live. And it might be preferable, to them at least, to learn this lesson, instead of always being intimidated, always living in fear of being hit by someone you take exception to. The thing I found most fascinating of all was: how did this come about ? Were the referree boys natural leaders who had somehow thought of this, and talked others into agreeing to be referreed, to "play by the rules"? There were no adults present, and it did not occur in the train station; it was a long train, and where I saw them they were about a block away from the station - so no adults to bail them out if things got out of control.

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"Practice in risk evaluation" - this one reminds me of all the times I've watched my, now toddler (before he could walk) navigate a set of steps and slide at the playground. His first attempts (self initiated) were at about 8 or 9 months, to crawl up the first step and then always remaining very flat on his belly, in my mind his thinking is something like "the closer I am to this surface the less likely I'll fall!" He was VERY cautious. So cautious infact, I felt very reassured that he wouldn't fall. And he never has. He's now 16 months and walking. Still very cautious but has taken steps of courage a long the way. Of course, all at his own free will. His dad and I never have to intervene or step in, unless he explicitly asks for help. It's such a joy to witness and also comforting to know he's cautious, yet confident!

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Jun 12, 2023·edited Jun 12, 2023

Saturday I talked about this subject " with a young mother.I gave her a bit advice to let her children play in freedom, that she needs to trust her children.

.And today reading this .I have been a teacher ( young kids) during my life.(Hey teacher leave them kids alone)

Also a mother . and thank you so much Peter for being here

Would like to share much more ,

I quitte my teacher job,also on particulair schools.( Stateless education) Would love to " talk" with you about unscoling . Havent found the place yet. Im born in 1961. The Netherlands.🐸

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So much to love about these ideas! Reminds me of ‘dangerous playgrounds’ (link below), though I’m more keen to think about playfulness outside of designated play areas (i.e., Bogost’s Play Anything).

I particularly like the notion of how play can condition us to be ‘prepared to be surprised’ (Carse). That’s the way I frame it in a forthcoming chapter in a Design + Anthropology book: “Playing Strategist.”

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/10/well/family/adventure-playgrounds-junk-playgrounds.html

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Jun 8, 2023·edited Jun 8, 2023Author

Jason. Thanks for the link to your article. A potential way to solve our nations's play deprivation problem would be to create an adventure playground, staffed by a playworker, within walking or bicycling distance of every child (or at least take that as a goal). I know why this won't be done any time soon, but at least in area of high population concentration, adventure playgrounds would be a wonderful investment.

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