Just today I saw a mom who was riding her bike with her young son who had training wheels on his bike. He briefly stood up off the saddle as he rode, and mom immediately chastised him, "Bottom on the seat, please."
I think you're missing an element in your 6 elements of risky play.
#7: Critters. Being around critters, whether it's a pet dog, the garter snake in the garden or holding a tarantula can provide some risk. You could get hurt roughhousing with your big dog or the tarantula might bite you, etc. but learning to be comfortable around critters is an important part of being a human/adult. Sure, not all of the critters have real risk (a garter snake is harmless, a cat might scratch you, but not really hurt you), but it's like climbing to the first branch on a tree.
I was living in downtown San Diego in the late 90's (the "Gaslamp"; inexpensive) when I decided to take the trolley (light rail) toward El Cajon in the east, just to see what was out there, and witnessed something remarkable. At a stop which was now in a very suburban area, there was a large gathering of students near where the trolley had stopped. I saw what appeared to be a fight, with lots of other students looking on. " Great", I thought, but then decided to watch, having nothing else to do. 2 teenage boys were fighting, but only by making hard open handed slaps. Even so, when one of them got slapped hard, the other wouldn't necessarily like it very much, and would then sometimes begin to respond more aggressively ... at which point one of 2 other very strong and capable looking boys would step in and make them take a pause. They weren't breaking up the fight, they were referreeing! At first this scene seemed kinda crazy (Fight Club?) but then I got to thinking: they might be actually learning useful things there. For one thing, they learned they could take a hard slap and live - they wouldn't like it, it was something worth avoiding, but they would live. And it might be preferable, to them at least, to learn this lesson, instead of always being intimidated, always living in fear of being hit by someone you take exception to. The thing I found most fascinating of all was: how did this come about ? Were the referree boys natural leaders who had somehow thought of this, and talked others into agreeing to be referreed, to "play by the rules"? There were no adults present, and it did not occur in the train station; it was a long train, and where I saw them they were about a block away from the station - so no adults to bail them out if things got out of control.
"Practice in risk evaluation" - this one reminds me of all the times I've watched my, now toddler (before he could walk) navigate a set of steps and slide at the playground. His first attempts (self initiated) were at about 8 or 9 months, to crawl up the first step and then always remaining very flat on his belly, in my mind his thinking is something like "the closer I am to this surface the less likely I'll fall!" He was VERY cautious. So cautious infact, I felt very reassured that he wouldn't fall. And he never has. He's now 16 months and walking. Still very cautious but has taken steps of courage a long the way. Of course, all at his own free will. His dad and I never have to intervene or step in, unless he explicitly asks for help. It's such a joy to witness and also comforting to know he's cautious, yet confident!
Note: works better at half speed and captions set to:___English (United States)____
the First Untruth of the US Senate's Dr Haidt's The 3 Great Untruths: DON'T FACE YOUR FEARS
( a TikTok Challenge?)
OK-Stop Handshake(20 seconds)
In the initial encounter of the heterosexual dating scene, the female is asked to shake hands and replies OK...
... but after three seconds of shaking hands, she says STOP (the couple practice honoring the withdrawal of consent)...
...he asks again (practicing rejection desensitization)...
Repeats(she says OK... then STOP....practicing assertion desensitization)
Analysis: "KILL 3 BIRDS WITH ONE STONE:"
She wants to be touched but is afraid he won't stop (male's sexual response cycles want to end in orgasm while the female sexual response is much more interruptable...)
He is afraid of rejection before this treatment that reduces(desensitizes) that fear... his fear of rejection is reduced(forever?) and he is more likely to honor rejection by females without much disappointment and he is more likely to be resilient after rejection and eventually find RSAT(relationship satisfaction)
She may fear being perceived as too demanding .... after this treatment that fear will be (forever?) reduced. She is more likely to be resilient after rejecting and eventually find RSAT(relationship satisfaction
Saturday I talked about this subject " with a young mother.I gave her a bit advice to let her children play in freedom, that she needs to trust her children.
.And today reading this .I have been a teacher ( young kids) during my life.(Hey teacher leave them kids alone)
Also a mother . and thank you so much Peter for being here
Would like to share much more ,
I quitte my teacher job,also on particulair schools.( Stateless education) Would love to " talk" with you about unscoling . Havent found the place yet. Im born in 1961. The Netherlands.🐸
So much to love about these ideas! Reminds me of ‘dangerous playgrounds’ (link below), though I’m more keen to think about playfulness outside of designated play areas (i.e., Bogost’s Play Anything).
I particularly like the notion of how play can condition us to be ‘prepared to be surprised’ (Carse). That’s the way I frame it in a forthcoming chapter in a Design + Anthropology book: “Playing Strategist.”
Just today I saw a mom who was riding her bike with her young son who had training wheels on his bike. He briefly stood up off the saddle as he rode, and mom immediately chastised him, "Bottom on the seat, please."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Control freak.
Control frea--
Now you say "Control freak who?!"
I think you're missing an element in your 6 elements of risky play.
#7: Critters. Being around critters, whether it's a pet dog, the garter snake in the garden or holding a tarantula can provide some risk. You could get hurt roughhousing with your big dog or the tarantula might bite you, etc. but learning to be comfortable around critters is an important part of being a human/adult. Sure, not all of the critters have real risk (a garter snake is harmless, a cat might scratch you, but not really hurt you), but it's like climbing to the first branch on a tree.
I was living in downtown San Diego in the late 90's (the "Gaslamp"; inexpensive) when I decided to take the trolley (light rail) toward El Cajon in the east, just to see what was out there, and witnessed something remarkable. At a stop which was now in a very suburban area, there was a large gathering of students near where the trolley had stopped. I saw what appeared to be a fight, with lots of other students looking on. " Great", I thought, but then decided to watch, having nothing else to do. 2 teenage boys were fighting, but only by making hard open handed slaps. Even so, when one of them got slapped hard, the other wouldn't necessarily like it very much, and would then sometimes begin to respond more aggressively ... at which point one of 2 other very strong and capable looking boys would step in and make them take a pause. They weren't breaking up the fight, they were referreeing! At first this scene seemed kinda crazy (Fight Club?) but then I got to thinking: they might be actually learning useful things there. For one thing, they learned they could take a hard slap and live - they wouldn't like it, it was something worth avoiding, but they would live. And it might be preferable, to them at least, to learn this lesson, instead of always being intimidated, always living in fear of being hit by someone you take exception to. The thing I found most fascinating of all was: how did this come about ? Were the referree boys natural leaders who had somehow thought of this, and talked others into agreeing to be referreed, to "play by the rules"? There were no adults present, and it did not occur in the train station; it was a long train, and where I saw them they were about a block away from the station - so no adults to bail them out if things got out of control.
"Practice in risk evaluation" - this one reminds me of all the times I've watched my, now toddler (before he could walk) navigate a set of steps and slide at the playground. His first attempts (self initiated) were at about 8 or 9 months, to crawl up the first step and then always remaining very flat on his belly, in my mind his thinking is something like "the closer I am to this surface the less likely I'll fall!" He was VERY cautious. So cautious infact, I felt very reassured that he wouldn't fall. And he never has. He's now 16 months and walking. Still very cautious but has taken steps of courage a long the way. Of course, all at his own free will. His dad and I never have to intervene or step in, unless he explicitly asks for help. It's such a joy to witness and also comforting to know he's cautious, yet confident!
Is anyone researching effectiveness of"ExposureExercise#" vs. vs. "ExposureExercise#2" .
Here's a word on which democracy depends but no American knows: Rejection Desensitization:
"ExposureExercise#"
getting ghosted
"ExposureExercise#2"
Exposure: Rejection Desensitization in 20 seconds!😁😁😁😁
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uc2OzeAfYKc
Note: works better at half speed and captions set to:___English (United States)____
the First Untruth of the US Senate's Dr Haidt's The 3 Great Untruths: DON'T FACE YOUR FEARS
( a TikTok Challenge?)
OK-Stop Handshake(20 seconds)
In the initial encounter of the heterosexual dating scene, the female is asked to shake hands and replies OK...
... but after three seconds of shaking hands, she says STOP (the couple practice honoring the withdrawal of consent)...
...he asks again (practicing rejection desensitization)...
Repeats(she says OK... then STOP....practicing assertion desensitization)
Analysis: "KILL 3 BIRDS WITH ONE STONE:"
She wants to be touched but is afraid he won't stop (male's sexual response cycles want to end in orgasm while the female sexual response is much more interruptable...)
He is afraid of rejection before this treatment that reduces(desensitizes) that fear... his fear of rejection is reduced(forever?) and he is more likely to honor rejection by females without much disappointment and he is more likely to be resilient after rejection and eventually find RSAT(relationship satisfaction)
She may fear being perceived as too demanding .... after this treatment that fear will be (forever?) reduced. She is more likely to be resilient after rejecting and eventually find RSAT(relationship satisfaction
Saturday I talked about this subject " with a young mother.I gave her a bit advice to let her children play in freedom, that she needs to trust her children.
.And today reading this .I have been a teacher ( young kids) during my life.(Hey teacher leave them kids alone)
Also a mother . and thank you so much Peter for being here
Would like to share much more ,
I quitte my teacher job,also on particulair schools.( Stateless education) Would love to " talk" with you about unscoling . Havent found the place yet. Im born in 1961. The Netherlands.🐸
So much to love about these ideas! Reminds me of ‘dangerous playgrounds’ (link below), though I’m more keen to think about playfulness outside of designated play areas (i.e., Bogost’s Play Anything).
I particularly like the notion of how play can condition us to be ‘prepared to be surprised’ (Carse). That’s the way I frame it in a forthcoming chapter in a Design + Anthropology book: “Playing Strategist.”
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/10/well/family/adventure-playgrounds-junk-playgrounds.html