Peter I second the request to know what happened 21 years ago that created a change in your daily life to live with more fun. I am constantly desiring to simplify, yet feel like I’m constantly failing. I have an 8 and 13 year old and I wonder is it the season in my life where I have so much going on or have I just not figured it out yet.
Thank you for this uplifting post. It’s great to see so many respondents wanting to read, write, walk and contemplate more. The personal connection category might also be described as “engage in dialogue,” which is also great to see.
The exercises category is lower on the list than I would expect (or maybe want of my community), but that may be because respondents are exercising enough already. More likely though - based on the high frequency of the desire to walk more - it means they don’t like to exercise, and thus don’t want to exercise more. Yet I would think they probably feel a need to move their body more; maybe they want to do light exercise (walking). This tells me that exercise is too much like work. Finding ways to make exercise more like play is something respondents would probably benefit from.
The reading and writing results are probably my favorite, even if the survey sample is biased. It tells me that I’m among likeminded people. But looking at the glass half empty, it means that respondents would benefit from finding ways to read more. Why are they not reading as much as they want to? I’m curious how many hours respondents are reading, and how many more hours they would want to be reading? And want is preventing them from reading more? How can we get people to fulfill their desire to read?
Pondering these survey results makes me realize how apropos the title of your Substack is: play is vital to human flourishing. Play is key to helping people do more of the stuff they want to be doing. This isn’t just about having more free-time; I think there’s a lack of cohesiveness among people. People are struggling to figure out how to do more of the stuff they want to be doing; as if they need some motivating or organizing influence in their week.
My guess is that religion has traditionally been this influence and now that religion has taken a dive, people are sort of wandering separately; trying to figure out how to re-gain or form a new community.
Thank you for these thoughtful comments. I wrote a Psychology Today essay a few years ago entitle, "Play out, don't work out." I may post an updated version of that as a future letter.
You look very happy in your kayak :-) i too hope you will share how you have arranged your life to be able to wake up with that wonderful knowledge that (almost) everything in that day will be what you want to do and will be playfully done 😀
I’ve had a challenging year and my therapist reminded me that having fun is also part of the healing journey. So I booked a spontaneous trip to NYC for a night of fun with friends to see our favorite band. It was so much fun!
Exploring and developing our gifts, listening for our calling. It's so fundamental to finding meaning in life, yet we often live in ways which deny this level of self-inquiry - we often feel morally obligated to a life of toil and drudgery and eschew the selfish playful indulgences of doing what we want to do with our time.
From the sounds of it, many of us want to hear how you altered your life years ago! I am happy to be amongst other like minded individuals that recognize the importance of human connection and play. I also hope to spend more time next year advocating for this in schools. Thank you for all your work and Happy New Year!
Come on Peter, you know you're going to tells how the 21-years ago shift happened! We all want to know....!
Because when people begin life as a natural "play in life" person, we can't always relate -- it can be a gift that can't quite be explained or affect people who are not that way. But if we know someone who didn't always have that and made a conscious choice to change, it can affect us very directly.
Come on Peter, you know you're going to tells how the 21-years ago shift happened! We all want to know....!
Because when people begin life as a natural "play in life" person, we can't always relate -- it can be a gift that can't quite be explained or affect people who are not that way. But if we know someone who didn't always have that and made a conscious choice to change, it can affect us very directly.
You make a good point, here, perhaps the word "fun" is misleading. I'm using it to refer to general enjoyment, which includes the pleasure that comes from the feeling of doing something that benefits others. This is something I will discuss in a future letter. I think most people, when free, want to contribute to the world and doing so adds to the enjoyment of the contributors' life a well as others. To me, writing books and articles that convey a message and working for nonprofit organizations are fun in part because they do contribute to the world, or at least I hope they do.
Peter I second the request to know what happened 21 years ago that created a change in your daily life to live with more fun. I am constantly desiring to simplify, yet feel like I’m constantly failing. I have an 8 and 13 year old and I wonder is it the season in my life where I have so much going on or have I just not figured it out yet.
I would very much like to hear about how you’ve altered your own life to revolve around play! Please do share in a future letter!
I’d also love to hear!
Thank you for this uplifting post. It’s great to see so many respondents wanting to read, write, walk and contemplate more. The personal connection category might also be described as “engage in dialogue,” which is also great to see.
The exercises category is lower on the list than I would expect (or maybe want of my community), but that may be because respondents are exercising enough already. More likely though - based on the high frequency of the desire to walk more - it means they don’t like to exercise, and thus don’t want to exercise more. Yet I would think they probably feel a need to move their body more; maybe they want to do light exercise (walking). This tells me that exercise is too much like work. Finding ways to make exercise more like play is something respondents would probably benefit from.
The reading and writing results are probably my favorite, even if the survey sample is biased. It tells me that I’m among likeminded people. But looking at the glass half empty, it means that respondents would benefit from finding ways to read more. Why are they not reading as much as they want to? I’m curious how many hours respondents are reading, and how many more hours they would want to be reading? And want is preventing them from reading more? How can we get people to fulfill their desire to read?
Pondering these survey results makes me realize how apropos the title of your Substack is: play is vital to human flourishing. Play is key to helping people do more of the stuff they want to be doing. This isn’t just about having more free-time; I think there’s a lack of cohesiveness among people. People are struggling to figure out how to do more of the stuff they want to be doing; as if they need some motivating or organizing influence in their week.
My guess is that religion has traditionally been this influence and now that religion has taken a dive, people are sort of wandering separately; trying to figure out how to re-gain or form a new community.
Thanks Peter. This is really helpful.
Thank you for these thoughtful comments. I wrote a Psychology Today essay a few years ago entitle, "Play out, don't work out." I may post an updated version of that as a future letter.
You look very happy in your kayak :-) i too hope you will share how you have arranged your life to be able to wake up with that wonderful knowledge that (almost) everything in that day will be what you want to do and will be playfully done 😀
I’ve had a challenging year and my therapist reminded me that having fun is also part of the healing journey. So I booked a spontaneous trip to NYC for a night of fun with friends to see our favorite band. It was so much fun!
My new year resolution is to spend less than 3-4 hours each morning, reading Substack postings! 🤦🏻♀️
Oh, but please do keep reading mine. :-)
Thank you for curating this, Peter. Add me to the list of those who would be delighted to read about what happened 21 years ago!
This is a great question and thought exercise.
Exploring and developing our gifts, listening for our calling. It's so fundamental to finding meaning in life, yet we often live in ways which deny this level of self-inquiry - we often feel morally obligated to a life of toil and drudgery and eschew the selfish playful indulgences of doing what we want to do with our time.
From the sounds of it, many of us want to hear how you altered your life years ago! I am happy to be amongst other like minded individuals that recognize the importance of human connection and play. I also hope to spend more time next year advocating for this in schools. Thank you for all your work and Happy New Year!
Come on Peter, you know you're going to tells how the 21-years ago shift happened! We all want to know....!
Because when people begin life as a natural "play in life" person, we can't always relate -- it can be a gift that can't quite be explained or affect people who are not that way. But if we know someone who didn't always have that and made a conscious choice to change, it can affect us very directly.
Countdown to the post....10..9...8...
😁
Come on Peter, you know you're going to tells how the 21-years ago shift happened! We all want to know....!
Because when people begin life as a natural "play in life" person, we can't always relate -- it can be a gift that can't quite be explained or affect people who are not that way. But if we know someone who didn't always have that and made a conscious choice to change, it can affect us very directly.
Countdown to the post....10..9...8...
You make a good point, here, perhaps the word "fun" is misleading. I'm using it to refer to general enjoyment, which includes the pleasure that comes from the feeling of doing something that benefits others. This is something I will discuss in a future letter. I think most people, when free, want to contribute to the world and doing so adds to the enjoyment of the contributors' life a well as others. To me, writing books and articles that convey a message and working for nonprofit organizations are fun in part because they do contribute to the world, or at least I hope they do.