I loved your description of your life and the play and joy you are experiencing! I think we need more of these stories to remind us adults that it is possible to do this. It also inspires me to think about all the kids who are growing up in a self-directed learning environment in which their natural play leads them into careers that feel like play! Thank you so much for sharing your story! It is very much appreciated:-)
Wonderful! I loved reading this, and did so with a large beam on my face.
I lost my amazing, lovely dad a year ago (he was 94). He was a real 'people person' (although an introvert by nature) and I never remember going anywhere with him without us bumping into someone he knew. I remember, when he was about 91, going to a lock on the Upper Thames with him (my sister is a relief lock-keeper - her fifth career :)) which was quite busy as it was a place the public would often go. I was on one side of the lock and he was on a bench on the other. I sat and watched him talk to person after person after person - they would either sit down next to him or would stand near him. At the end of the day I said, 'Pa, you are remarkable - you are so interested in people.' He just smiled and shrugged and said, 'Well, dear, everyone you meet has a story to tell.'
I don't think it's indulgent or selfish or hubristic in the slightest to tell one's own story - as Pa said, everyone has one and they are all different - and they make us who we are today.
I stopped teaching in schools (music specialist) in 2015. I finally ceased employment in December 2021, when I left a Saturday music conservatoire after 34 years. I had rather imagined I would do both until they carried me out feet first, but various circumstances (not happy ones) caused both to happen. Since then I have done exactly what I want to do - teaching adults online, devising and running a host of interesting courses - as well as a fair bit of lazing around! It's pretty wonderful.
And it's wonderful for all the reasons you state.
It now breaks my heart that we have a world full of people who are imprisoned. Imprisoned in a life that really, truly doesn't make them happy, but which keeps them doing things they don't really want to do.
As you say - 'A mind freed is a better mind than one constrained.'
And it's not just 'better' - it's happier and more fulfilled. We all need to be free to do the things that we love and which makes us US.
Back to my beloved dad (I know I'm biased, but he truly was a remarkable and wonderful person). He used to love reading obituaries in the papers. Once I asked him why - and I had a similar answer to the one I asked at the lockside. 'Because there are all these remarkable people, that one has never heard of, who lived remarkable lives.'
What a lovely story! Your dad sounds so much like mine! My dad is 91, and he makes friends with everyone he meets too. Could that be a secret to our dads’ longevity?
Life goals! Thank you for sharing your personal experience, Peter. Very inspiring. I'm thankful for your book. It changed my life (and the lives of my kids) for the better.
What you say about teaching is so true: it "takes a lot of time and effort, and if you are not sure it is a good thing, it begins to feel burdensome." I'm an online adjunct professor partly so that I can have the flexibility to (mostly) do whatever I want (reading, writing, drawing). But sometimes the system can be grating. The older I get, the more I think: how can I actively simplify my life so I can afford to enjoy it?
I am also "retired early" after a military career, marriage and parenthood, and a few years as a school sub. Developing the land and ecosystem is my play and we started a small farm on timberland. We are solidly middle class and I've been able to raise sheep and bees and develop test pollinator patches without being encumbered with worrying about paying the bills. I'm glad to say I've increased the diversity and number of insects, which brings in more birds and other wildlife.
Thank you for all you are doing! Stories like yours are part of why I think the world would be better cared for if we all had time to follow our passions, to play.
Thank you for sharing more personal details on your career decisions! I was a student at Boston College from 2004-2008, double majoring in Biology and Psychology, but didn't really discover your work until I was closer to having kids myself. I had always wondered how I had missed the opportunity to learn from you more directly and whether it was due to me approaching college with still too much of the standardized mindset that got me there, so it's a bit of relief to know it was only a matter of timing and not because I had blinkers on still. I'm hoping to retire early myself and so it's also always lovely to hear more about people enjoying their retired lives doing work they enjoy and find meaningful!
17 miles each way? That is amazing! I bet those were some good rides. “Rather than drive to work, I commuted by bicycle. For most years that was 17 miles each way.”
This is a great story. Thank you for sharing it, and thank you for your work. We have a lot in common.
Thanks, Scott. For some reason, from age 5 on, I've felt most at home on a bike. I especially enjoyed my commute when rush hour traffic was snarled and I could zip past them.
Peter, I love, love, love this post. You sound an awful lot like my own father, but with even more energy!
Your book genuinely changed my approach to how I make choices, educated my children, and look for pleasure in my own life --- primarily, it gave me a new vocabulary for how to frame my choices and potential. I am so grateful for role models like you that provide a roadmap for a full life, how to age well, how to think, take charge of choices, and actually make changes --- big, counter-cultural changes.
You are inspiring in a very real, concrete way and will forever be (I now this because you've already been) one a few "touchstone" people I reflect on when I'm faced with decisions to make.
Peter, as you can tell, we are all thankful that you shared your journey! I am now entering my 50’s and my husband and I hope to retire sooner rather than later so that we can do all the things we want to do, not have to do. What you have described sounds wonderful.
I look forward to your next article regarding social media and teen mental health!
What a beautiful testimony to the importance of free time not only for our own happiness, but also for improving the world.
Our family has a similar story. My dad, after a very stressful 30-year career as a middle school principal, retired at age 60. At first we all wondered what he would do with himself; we thought he would go nuts with boredom. We were so wrong! He golfs, gardens, cooks, bakes, engages in seemingly infinite home-improvement projects, plans terrific parties, helps out with the grandkids, volunteers at church and at an organization that builds homes for homeless families, cultivates bonds with the neighbors, holds spontaneous trivia games, travels, and--as I write this--reads the paper and enjoys a cup of strong coffee. My dad is 91 years old and in perfect health. This is an extraordinary blessing of genetics, true, but I can’t help thinking that his choice to retire early and to spend more than three decades living and playing as he chooses is part of it too.
My brother, now 55, plans to retire next year after a very stressful high-powered career in corporate America. I can’t wait to see what his second chapter looks like! As for me, I am a retired stay-at-home mom (my kids are 21 and 23), and I play every day too.
Thank you so much for writing so eloquently about a more playful, joyous, and healthy way of living!
Peter, thank you so much for sharing this! This is inspiring and energizing to read– the transition you made and its impacts on the nature of your work and life align with aspirations I have as a current junior faculty in academic medicine.
You mentioned making this transition ~30 years into being on faculty. Looking back, are there changes you wish you had made (or could have made) sooner, even from the beginnings of your career in academics? If so, what are they and how might you have gone about them knowing what you know now?
I sincerely appreciate any reflections you're willing to share! Thank you!
Great question, Jack. I always find this hard to answer. I think of changes I might have made sooner, or different turns I might have taken, but then I think--"Well, if I had done that, then ____ (which I so value) would never have occurred. I do think, though, that I might have resigned my position earlier than I did. I could have afforded it, but I was more worried about having enough money in retirement than I should have been. I might also have chosen a different research project for graduate research. I was too focused then on doing something "publishable" and not enough on doing something I thought was really meaningful. I realize now that I could have done research right from the beginning that was both meaningful and publishable. I was too timid then in my early research choices.
Thank you so much, Peter. This is both helpful and encouraging, particularly your perspective on not getting too caught up in what is "publishable" and pursuing what is meaningful. I appreciate you taking the time to reply.
Thank you for sharing your experience, Peter. As a stay-at-home dad myself, I loved reading about your much more interesting, meaningful, and enriching second act.
I imagine your example will help others take the leap, and I hope you will continue to share personal anecdotes.
Love this Peter, and thanks for getting to 0 on the countdown!
I'm so glad you got to experience this, and that all the factors came together that way. I think our challenge as a society is how to make play-as-life work in all the years of a person’s life, when they are young, begin to work and have families.
One person who speaks with a lot of depth about this is Manish Jain, who has spent 25 years creating spaces for self-designed learning in India. He talks about creating what he called “Alivelihoods” rather than “Deadlihoods” which we call livelihood……
Thank you so much for sharing your inspiring journey! I managed to do very little “toil work” and a lot of play for many years, but recently having to support two kids I had to succumb to more mandatory work. Although I miss my free time where I did my best work, I am managing to keep things interesting and purposeful in my job. And STILL I dream of retirement to just do what I want to do! 😂
I love that you have shared your story. Thank you for putting aside what you call humility and putting forth what I call relatedness.
"Teaching takes a lot of time and effort, and if you are not sure it is a good thing, it begins to feel burdensome." I'm currently in the "beginning to feel burdensome" stage. It's quite nice to have your succinct sentence express what seems like a complex feeling the brews inside of me.
Peter, thank you for your life of play, and your life of service!
I loved your description of your life and the play and joy you are experiencing! I think we need more of these stories to remind us adults that it is possible to do this. It also inspires me to think about all the kids who are growing up in a self-directed learning environment in which their natural play leads them into careers that feel like play! Thank you so much for sharing your story! It is very much appreciated:-)
Wonderful! I loved reading this, and did so with a large beam on my face.
I lost my amazing, lovely dad a year ago (he was 94). He was a real 'people person' (although an introvert by nature) and I never remember going anywhere with him without us bumping into someone he knew. I remember, when he was about 91, going to a lock on the Upper Thames with him (my sister is a relief lock-keeper - her fifth career :)) which was quite busy as it was a place the public would often go. I was on one side of the lock and he was on a bench on the other. I sat and watched him talk to person after person after person - they would either sit down next to him or would stand near him. At the end of the day I said, 'Pa, you are remarkable - you are so interested in people.' He just smiled and shrugged and said, 'Well, dear, everyone you meet has a story to tell.'
I don't think it's indulgent or selfish or hubristic in the slightest to tell one's own story - as Pa said, everyone has one and they are all different - and they make us who we are today.
I stopped teaching in schools (music specialist) in 2015. I finally ceased employment in December 2021, when I left a Saturday music conservatoire after 34 years. I had rather imagined I would do both until they carried me out feet first, but various circumstances (not happy ones) caused both to happen. Since then I have done exactly what I want to do - teaching adults online, devising and running a host of interesting courses - as well as a fair bit of lazing around! It's pretty wonderful.
And it's wonderful for all the reasons you state.
It now breaks my heart that we have a world full of people who are imprisoned. Imprisoned in a life that really, truly doesn't make them happy, but which keeps them doing things they don't really want to do.
As you say - 'A mind freed is a better mind than one constrained.'
And it's not just 'better' - it's happier and more fulfilled. We all need to be free to do the things that we love and which makes us US.
Back to my beloved dad (I know I'm biased, but he truly was a remarkable and wonderful person). He used to love reading obituaries in the papers. Once I asked him why - and I had a similar answer to the one I asked at the lockside. 'Because there are all these remarkable people, that one has never heard of, who lived remarkable lives.'
Thank you, Pa. And thank you, Peter.
Thank you, Cyrilla, for sharing these great stories.
What a lovely story! Your dad sounds so much like mine! My dad is 91, and he makes friends with everyone he meets too. Could that be a secret to our dads’ longevity?
Ha ha, I wouldn't be surprised! Hugs to you and your dad.
“A mind freed is a better mind than one constrained” summarizes my entire being and sentiment. Working towards all play for myself!
Life goals! Thank you for sharing your personal experience, Peter. Very inspiring. I'm thankful for your book. It changed my life (and the lives of my kids) for the better.
What you say about teaching is so true: it "takes a lot of time and effort, and if you are not sure it is a good thing, it begins to feel burdensome." I'm an online adjunct professor partly so that I can have the flexibility to (mostly) do whatever I want (reading, writing, drawing). But sometimes the system can be grating. The older I get, the more I think: how can I actively simplify my life so I can afford to enjoy it?
Peter, I'm glad you wrote this. at 45, it's very encouraging to learn from your experience.
I am also "retired early" after a military career, marriage and parenthood, and a few years as a school sub. Developing the land and ecosystem is my play and we started a small farm on timberland. We are solidly middle class and I've been able to raise sheep and bees and develop test pollinator patches without being encumbered with worrying about paying the bills. I'm glad to say I've increased the diversity and number of insects, which brings in more birds and other wildlife.
Thank you for all you are doing! Stories like yours are part of why I think the world would be better cared for if we all had time to follow our passions, to play.
Thank you for sharing more personal details on your career decisions! I was a student at Boston College from 2004-2008, double majoring in Biology and Psychology, but didn't really discover your work until I was closer to having kids myself. I had always wondered how I had missed the opportunity to learn from you more directly and whether it was due to me approaching college with still too much of the standardized mindset that got me there, so it's a bit of relief to know it was only a matter of timing and not because I had blinkers on still. I'm hoping to retire early myself and so it's also always lovely to hear more about people enjoying their retired lives doing work they enjoy and find meaningful!
Well, Katherine, I now see one drawback of my early resignation from Boston College. I didn't get to meet you when you were a student there. 🙂
Peter,
17 miles each way? That is amazing! I bet those were some good rides. “Rather than drive to work, I commuted by bicycle. For most years that was 17 miles each way.”
This is a great story. Thank you for sharing it, and thank you for your work. We have a lot in common.
Thanks, Scott. For some reason, from age 5 on, I've felt most at home on a bike. I especially enjoyed my commute when rush hour traffic was snarled and I could zip past them.
Peter, I love, love, love this post. You sound an awful lot like my own father, but with even more energy!
Your book genuinely changed my approach to how I make choices, educated my children, and look for pleasure in my own life --- primarily, it gave me a new vocabulary for how to frame my choices and potential. I am so grateful for role models like you that provide a roadmap for a full life, how to age well, how to think, take charge of choices, and actually make changes --- big, counter-cultural changes.
You are inspiring in a very real, concrete way and will forever be (I now this because you've already been) one a few "touchstone" people I reflect on when I'm faced with decisions to make.
Thank you.
Thank you, Jennifer, for this really nice comment. Happy new year.
Peter, as you can tell, we are all thankful that you shared your journey! I am now entering my 50’s and my husband and I hope to retire sooner rather than later so that we can do all the things we want to do, not have to do. What you have described sounds wonderful.
I look forward to your next article regarding social media and teen mental health!
Thank you, DC. I pretty much recommend to everyone that they retire whenever they can afford to. I wish you and your husband well.
What a beautiful testimony to the importance of free time not only for our own happiness, but also for improving the world.
Our family has a similar story. My dad, after a very stressful 30-year career as a middle school principal, retired at age 60. At first we all wondered what he would do with himself; we thought he would go nuts with boredom. We were so wrong! He golfs, gardens, cooks, bakes, engages in seemingly infinite home-improvement projects, plans terrific parties, helps out with the grandkids, volunteers at church and at an organization that builds homes for homeless families, cultivates bonds with the neighbors, holds spontaneous trivia games, travels, and--as I write this--reads the paper and enjoys a cup of strong coffee. My dad is 91 years old and in perfect health. This is an extraordinary blessing of genetics, true, but I can’t help thinking that his choice to retire early and to spend more than three decades living and playing as he chooses is part of it too.
My brother, now 55, plans to retire next year after a very stressful high-powered career in corporate America. I can’t wait to see what his second chapter looks like! As for me, I am a retired stay-at-home mom (my kids are 21 and 23), and I play every day too.
Thank you so much for writing so eloquently about a more playful, joyous, and healthy way of living!
Peter, thank you so much for sharing this! This is inspiring and energizing to read– the transition you made and its impacts on the nature of your work and life align with aspirations I have as a current junior faculty in academic medicine.
You mentioned making this transition ~30 years into being on faculty. Looking back, are there changes you wish you had made (or could have made) sooner, even from the beginnings of your career in academics? If so, what are they and how might you have gone about them knowing what you know now?
I sincerely appreciate any reflections you're willing to share! Thank you!
Great question, Jack. I always find this hard to answer. I think of changes I might have made sooner, or different turns I might have taken, but then I think--"Well, if I had done that, then ____ (which I so value) would never have occurred. I do think, though, that I might have resigned my position earlier than I did. I could have afforded it, but I was more worried about having enough money in retirement than I should have been. I might also have chosen a different research project for graduate research. I was too focused then on doing something "publishable" and not enough on doing something I thought was really meaningful. I realize now that I could have done research right from the beginning that was both meaningful and publishable. I was too timid then in my early research choices.
Thank you so much, Peter. This is both helpful and encouraging, particularly your perspective on not getting too caught up in what is "publishable" and pursuing what is meaningful. I appreciate you taking the time to reply.
Thank you for sharing your experience, Peter. As a stay-at-home dad myself, I loved reading about your much more interesting, meaningful, and enriching second act.
I imagine your example will help others take the leap, and I hope you will continue to share personal anecdotes.
Love this Peter, and thanks for getting to 0 on the countdown!
I'm so glad you got to experience this, and that all the factors came together that way. I think our challenge as a society is how to make play-as-life work in all the years of a person’s life, when they are young, begin to work and have families.
One person who speaks with a lot of depth about this is Manish Jain, who has spent 25 years creating spaces for self-designed learning in India. He talks about creating what he called “Alivelihoods” rather than “Deadlihoods” which we call livelihood……
https://www.alivelihood.org
and here he gives a short talk about it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ssVzl3lW_3Y
Thank you so much for sharing your inspiring journey! I managed to do very little “toil work” and a lot of play for many years, but recently having to support two kids I had to succumb to more mandatory work. Although I miss my free time where I did my best work, I am managing to keep things interesting and purposeful in my job. And STILL I dream of retirement to just do what I want to do! 😂
I love that you have shared your story. Thank you for putting aside what you call humility and putting forth what I call relatedness.
"Teaching takes a lot of time and effort, and if you are not sure it is a good thing, it begins to feel burdensome." I'm currently in the "beginning to feel burdensome" stage. It's quite nice to have your succinct sentence express what seems like a complex feeling the brews inside of me.
Peter, thank you for your life of play, and your life of service!