I love all of your articles, but this one is particular was so helpful to me. As someone who wants to promote free play for my daughter, it's hard to do so when I live in a community, both my city and my neighborhood, where wandering kids are just not present. I do many of these things, but the school Play Club is making my mind spin! I am involved with my library, so I'm hoping to start one there as well.
Thank you, Peter, for literally changing my life with your work and with the way you engage with the public. I hope someday I can do something for you. If you ever need a cellist... 💕
In Australia there is the opportunity to organise a play street through Play Australia. I've been facilitating one since the start of the year, and even though its a small group of kids, it's much better than going to the park alone. I'm hoping it grows and leads to more spontaneous opportunities for play in the years to come
I met one of the leaders of Play Australia, and this was the first I had heard of a play street. It's nice to hear that it's worked for you. I live in a cul de sac, so I was thinking of starting one myself.
Definitely look into it! My local council supplied play equipment and templates for invites. We meet at the park instead of on the street though, seeing as we live just a few houses down from a decent sized neighbourhood park council suggested we meet there instead
I loved the piece by the teacher regarding the effects of free play on bullying. It's all actually SUCH a simple solution!
One of my very favourite quotations comes from Zoltán Kodály (the founder of the approach to music education which is my specialism) - it's referring to music, but actually is relevant to much more:
'Many people...obstinately keep hammering on the locked gates and pass right by the open doors that are accessible to everybody.'
Yes, indeed, they were great ethnomusicologists - much as Cecil Sharp and Ralph Vaughan Williams were around the same time in the UK :). Certainly Kodály's pedagogy was incredibly systematic and structured - one of the things I love most about it!
I'm a ski instructor and work mostly with kids. I find these ideas very helpful for balancing supervision and free play. I have also found that kids want to have fun while they learn. Sometimes I revert back to being an 8 year old. It's as much fun for me as it is for the kids.
As a teacher and parent of a young teen I love your reminder to keep making it easier for our kids to play... our society does make it hard! I know when I let my then 7 year old walk to school solo it was seen as a little risque because we live on a major highway with a lot of through-traffic. We'd watched one of the videos of a child in Japan I think going to school solo, navigating going from a bus to a train and walking and so he thought he could do it easy with just having to walk. I am an older parent so still remember the freedom of my childhood so maybe that made it seem less confronting. (Not saying I wasn't a little nervous... but he was fine). Thank you for sharing and encouraging.
I struggle as a mum of a child with additional needs (autism, behavioural challenges), to the point we stopped bothering socialising. Was just too stressful. Feels like a catch 22, you want your child with additional needs to get those social play experiences, yet facilitating them comes with so much stress. I feel happy that at least on his lunch break at school he gets that free play experience with other kids. During school holidays it’s lacking for us. I live in a small row of cottages with no other children. We visit parks and he interacts with others/experiences free play there.
I agree with what you say in one of the comments about school holding after school time that offers free play rather than it all being about ‘clubs’ and ‘homework’ as it currently is.
Thank you for another wonderful article! I have fond memories of all the adult-free adventures I went on as a kid—a lucky anomaly for someone raised in the US in the 2000s. The research you've done and the organisations/successful models you've shared give me hope that I will be able to provide some semblance of that freedom to my kids if/when I become a parent. I'm sure I'll be referring back to articles like these when that time comes :)
I have a son who will be starting Kindergarten this September. I have greatly appreciated the perspective and research that you have provided, and it has truly made a difference in the activities that I have chosen, and more importantly have not chosen, for my son during these young years. Thank you!
I've just discovered this SubStack and have much reading I'm excited about diving into, thank you for your writing!
This feels like a silly question, but can you elaborate on the elements of unstructured play?
How many hours would be a minimum that we should stick to during the school year?
I would think more is better. And I realize some is better than none. But, is it more important that an hour happens weekly vs a four hour meetup that's only monthly?
Is it more important that it's repeatedly the same children gathering so they build relationships vs an open invitation that gathers different individuals?
Can it be at a playground, or is it too structured even if the parents are like lifeguards and not intervening? Would an open park space be better then?
How many children? Are three enough to build dynamics? If there's too many, they'll split into groups anyway, but is there value to that still?
Is it as simple as, set up a first weekend of every month, we will be at this park during daylight hours, everyone is welcome to come? Or, does nobody come and then your child is bored and over it after a few goes?
Hello!! Thank you so much for this. Are you aware of the resident-led play street movement? https://playingout.net/ - we have built up this resource over 15 years, everything is free for parents and residents to access. It would be great if you could share this with your followers. Thanks so much, Lucy (lucy@playingout.net)
Thanks for this! As the parent of a 2.5 year old I’ve had the same thought you started this article with - “sounds great but how do I do it?”
Luckily it has even been useful at his young age. A couple weeks ago we went to a party with other couples with kids around the same age and purposely stayed up on the deck while they ran around, jumping in the kiddie pool and climbing on the swing set - one kid hit another in the head with a sprinkler, we bit our tongues, let them work it out, and he still say the other is his favorite.
One thing I would add that I am doing- former public school teacher here, a bit terrified to send my 5 year old to kindergarten next month, but feeling better about it as he will be partially-enrolled in the district.
We are in Illinois so I’m not sure how it differs by state, but parents in the US should know they don’t have to enroll in public schools full-time. We are “homeschooling” (IL requires this on paper) for reading and writing so he will go to school at 10:30am while the other students start at 8am. I realize this is not all families have this luxury, and I’m thinking through building a model that would make it a more accessible option, but thought it was worth mentioning as most people I speak with are unaware it’s even a possibility.
My personal conflict regarding full un-enrollment from the school system is how the local community public school acts as a hub in our neighborhood. I do have a desire for my children to experience the joyful and community-building aspects of the local school and how it could impact his friendships. It is probably my own projection since I am still friends with people I met in first grade.
Ultimately, I am situating myself to one day have to fully remove them from the school system, and I still worry I’m doing harm by sending them at all. My son and I have spoken at length about it, he likes the plan and helped me design it, and knows that if any point he doesn’t enjoy school we will never, ever force him to go.
I’m hopeful with these contingencies in place I can neutralize some of the harm of our current system, and yet, I know the harms are there by sheer design of the schools. Some days I feel so helpless- but then again, I did grow up in the 90s 🤪
Thank you again, for all of your wisdom and willingness to diverge from the status quo.
Thank you for these interesting thoughts, Megan. My view is this. As long as you listen to your son--which you are clearly doing--and a long as he is happy with the plan and has some say in how it unfolds, you can't go far wrong.
I wonder if the option for part-time schooling is available in other states. Maybe other readers have some insight on this. This option could be great for some families.
I love your work. Thank you. I wonder about your thoughts about the following: Most families have two full time working parents, and after school activities and structured after school hours are needed for those parents to be at work. How can we best serve children with unstructured play outside the home when parents are working such long hours just to make ends meet?
One of my goals is to convince schools to allow free play at school every day after school, from the time when the school day ends to the time when parents' work day ends. That would solve the problem of providing ample play for kids and solve the parents' babysitting problem. We need to get parents to push hard for this in their school districts.
While I completely agree with the idea of this, as a parent with children in public schools, it feels nearly impossible (to me) to have the staff at after care "unlearn" all of the classroom "management" punitive tools they've been using for decades. While these aides are well-intentioned, they are also burned out and under trained. How would you propose parents advocate and get these schools onboard? Many public schools (on the east coast) don't allow the children to play outside when there has been a slight drizzle of rain or cold temperatures. Mostly it is because of liability, but also because not all children have proper weather gear. The children are overcrowded inside on screens or coloring dittos in an overstimulating environment that allows for very little movement. It's heartbreaking. Having schools allow true free play after school would be phenomenal. As a play advocate myself, however, I feel that many districts won't allow for it. I am currently writing a book about teaching parents how to bring independent play back into their homes- I am a huge fan of your work. Thank you.
Thanks, Lizzie. I understand the challenge. But we have alrady been successful in teaching Play Club monitors (usually teachers) to take a truly hands-off approach. My instruction to them is to act like lifeguards on an ocean beach, not to tell the kids how to play, solve minor quarrels, or get concerned about minor bumps or bruises.. Their job is to be there only for real emergencies. I have been delighted to find that the monitors actually follow this and learn how competent kids are at looking out for themselves and one another when trusted do do so. A few schools already have after-school Play Club that goes more than an hour, with no rules except you have to stay on campus and don't deliberately hurt anyone. The school principal has to be on board with this--that's the first step--and the monitors must be trained to NOT intervene in the kids' play.
I guess I’ve encouraged my children in this area without being all that conscious of it, especially my son. In HS, my daughter rode a city bus to school everyday. Not a big deal, but the only one in her HS to do so, until she started driving at 16. She was also highly self-led in many areas growing up, and we celebrated that but were very attuned to her when she needed that, as well. She was always highly creative with her hands, making clay characters and board games, murals, etc—she worked in multiple theatre productions in every imaginable role throughout HS. She’s now 23 and teaches at a pottery studio, is a wonderful potter, and has clients as a social media manager—after graduating with a graphic design degree.
My son taught himself Japanese (from ages 11 to his current age of 18) and is now studying several more languages, the philosophy greats, and starting a language tutoring business while continuing his studies at SDSU (international business)—just finished his first year.
My husband and I sent him on two school trips with EF tours in HS that challenged the kids to be in unfamiliar environments helping others. He loved both but especially the trip where they had to work long hours to help build homes for residents.
He’s off to Japan next week for 6 weeks with a friend, to bike-ride the entire country from top to bottom. This was his own idea and they’ve created spreadsheets to be prepared financially and physically. I tried to instill these principles in my own way, and was clearly successful.
I am much less anxious about his upcoming trip than I would have been a year ago, due to understanding what’s at stake when kids don’t take physical risks and stay engaged and adventurous in the real world.
I had an easier time decades ago getting ample Free Play unsupervised than opportunities that required adult participation. Esp. w/ movies, malls. supermarkets, organized sports, museums, tennis courts, medical/dental care that all required transportation to other towns.
My 9 & 12 year old have been going out on the bus to nearby places because I want them to be comfortable in the world, know how to navigate the city, and not be so dependent. They love it. I'm lucky to live in a community where it's not so strange to see kids out and about in the city.
I love all of your articles, but this one is particular was so helpful to me. As someone who wants to promote free play for my daughter, it's hard to do so when I live in a community, both my city and my neighborhood, where wandering kids are just not present. I do many of these things, but the school Play Club is making my mind spin! I am involved with my library, so I'm hoping to start one there as well.
Thank you, Peter, for literally changing my life with your work and with the way you engage with the public. I hope someday I can do something for you. If you ever need a cellist... 💕
In Australia there is the opportunity to organise a play street through Play Australia. I've been facilitating one since the start of the year, and even though its a small group of kids, it's much better than going to the park alone. I'm hoping it grows and leads to more spontaneous opportunities for play in the years to come
I met one of the leaders of Play Australia, and this was the first I had heard of a play street. It's nice to hear that it's worked for you. I live in a cul de sac, so I was thinking of starting one myself.
Definitely look into it! My local council supplied play equipment and templates for invites. We meet at the park instead of on the street though, seeing as we live just a few houses down from a decent sized neighbourhood park council suggested we meet there instead
Another wonderful and inspiring article.
I loved the piece by the teacher regarding the effects of free play on bullying. It's all actually SUCH a simple solution!
One of my very favourite quotations comes from Zoltán Kodály (the founder of the approach to music education which is my specialism) - it's referring to music, but actually is relevant to much more:
'Many people...obstinately keep hammering on the locked gates and pass right by the open doors that are accessible to everybody.'
Love the Kodaly reference.
He and Bela Bartok practically invented systematic ethnomusicology too!
Yes, indeed, they were great ethnomusicologists - much as Cecil Sharp and Ralph Vaughan Williams were around the same time in the UK :). Certainly Kodály's pedagogy was incredibly systematic and structured - one of the things I love most about it!
I'm a ski instructor and work mostly with kids. I find these ideas very helpful for balancing supervision and free play. I have also found that kids want to have fun while they learn. Sometimes I revert back to being an 8 year old. It's as much fun for me as it is for the kids.
As a teacher and parent of a young teen I love your reminder to keep making it easier for our kids to play... our society does make it hard! I know when I let my then 7 year old walk to school solo it was seen as a little risque because we live on a major highway with a lot of through-traffic. We'd watched one of the videos of a child in Japan I think going to school solo, navigating going from a bus to a train and walking and so he thought he could do it easy with just having to walk. I am an older parent so still remember the freedom of my childhood so maybe that made it seem less confronting. (Not saying I wasn't a little nervous... but he was fine). Thank you for sharing and encouraging.
I struggle as a mum of a child with additional needs (autism, behavioural challenges), to the point we stopped bothering socialising. Was just too stressful. Feels like a catch 22, you want your child with additional needs to get those social play experiences, yet facilitating them comes with so much stress. I feel happy that at least on his lunch break at school he gets that free play experience with other kids. During school holidays it’s lacking for us. I live in a small row of cottages with no other children. We visit parks and he interacts with others/experiences free play there.
I agree with what you say in one of the comments about school holding after school time that offers free play rather than it all being about ‘clubs’ and ‘homework’ as it currently is.
Thank you for another wonderful article! I have fond memories of all the adult-free adventures I went on as a kid—a lucky anomaly for someone raised in the US in the 2000s. The research you've done and the organisations/successful models you've shared give me hope that I will be able to provide some semblance of that freedom to my kids if/when I become a parent. I'm sure I'll be referring back to articles like these when that time comes :)
I have a son who will be starting Kindergarten this September. I have greatly appreciated the perspective and research that you have provided, and it has truly made a difference in the activities that I have chosen, and more importantly have not chosen, for my son during these young years. Thank you!
I've just discovered this SubStack and have much reading I'm excited about diving into, thank you for your writing!
This feels like a silly question, but can you elaborate on the elements of unstructured play?
How many hours would be a minimum that we should stick to during the school year?
I would think more is better. And I realize some is better than none. But, is it more important that an hour happens weekly vs a four hour meetup that's only monthly?
Is it more important that it's repeatedly the same children gathering so they build relationships vs an open invitation that gathers different individuals?
Can it be at a playground, or is it too structured even if the parents are like lifeguards and not intervening? Would an open park space be better then?
How many children? Are three enough to build dynamics? If there's too many, they'll split into groups anyway, but is there value to that still?
Is it as simple as, set up a first weekend of every month, we will be at this park during daylight hours, everyone is welcome to come? Or, does nobody come and then your child is bored and over it after a few goes?
Hello!! Thank you so much for this. Are you aware of the resident-led play street movement? https://playingout.net/ - we have built up this resource over 15 years, everything is free for parents and residents to access. It would be great if you could share this with your followers. Thanks so much, Lucy (lucy@playingout.net)
Thanks for this! As the parent of a 2.5 year old I’ve had the same thought you started this article with - “sounds great but how do I do it?”
Luckily it has even been useful at his young age. A couple weeks ago we went to a party with other couples with kids around the same age and purposely stayed up on the deck while they ran around, jumping in the kiddie pool and climbing on the swing set - one kid hit another in the head with a sprinkler, we bit our tongues, let them work it out, and he still say the other is his favorite.
Such a helpful list, Peter. Thank you.
One thing I would add that I am doing- former public school teacher here, a bit terrified to send my 5 year old to kindergarten next month, but feeling better about it as he will be partially-enrolled in the district.
We are in Illinois so I’m not sure how it differs by state, but parents in the US should know they don’t have to enroll in public schools full-time. We are “homeschooling” (IL requires this on paper) for reading and writing so he will go to school at 10:30am while the other students start at 8am. I realize this is not all families have this luxury, and I’m thinking through building a model that would make it a more accessible option, but thought it was worth mentioning as most people I speak with are unaware it’s even a possibility.
My personal conflict regarding full un-enrollment from the school system is how the local community public school acts as a hub in our neighborhood. I do have a desire for my children to experience the joyful and community-building aspects of the local school and how it could impact his friendships. It is probably my own projection since I am still friends with people I met in first grade.
Ultimately, I am situating myself to one day have to fully remove them from the school system, and I still worry I’m doing harm by sending them at all. My son and I have spoken at length about it, he likes the plan and helped me design it, and knows that if any point he doesn’t enjoy school we will never, ever force him to go.
I’m hopeful with these contingencies in place I can neutralize some of the harm of our current system, and yet, I know the harms are there by sheer design of the schools. Some days I feel so helpless- but then again, I did grow up in the 90s 🤪
Thank you again, for all of your wisdom and willingness to diverge from the status quo.
Thank you for these interesting thoughts, Megan. My view is this. As long as you listen to your son--which you are clearly doing--and a long as he is happy with the plan and has some say in how it unfolds, you can't go far wrong.
Your support and encouragement means everything, thank you so much ❤️
I wonder if the option for part-time schooling is available in other states. Maybe other readers have some insight on this. This option could be great for some families.
I love your work. Thank you. I wonder about your thoughts about the following: Most families have two full time working parents, and after school activities and structured after school hours are needed for those parents to be at work. How can we best serve children with unstructured play outside the home when parents are working such long hours just to make ends meet?
Lizzie
One of my goals is to convince schools to allow free play at school every day after school, from the time when the school day ends to the time when parents' work day ends. That would solve the problem of providing ample play for kids and solve the parents' babysitting problem. We need to get parents to push hard for this in their school districts.
Such a simple thing that would be a game changer.
While I completely agree with the idea of this, as a parent with children in public schools, it feels nearly impossible (to me) to have the staff at after care "unlearn" all of the classroom "management" punitive tools they've been using for decades. While these aides are well-intentioned, they are also burned out and under trained. How would you propose parents advocate and get these schools onboard? Many public schools (on the east coast) don't allow the children to play outside when there has been a slight drizzle of rain or cold temperatures. Mostly it is because of liability, but also because not all children have proper weather gear. The children are overcrowded inside on screens or coloring dittos in an overstimulating environment that allows for very little movement. It's heartbreaking. Having schools allow true free play after school would be phenomenal. As a play advocate myself, however, I feel that many districts won't allow for it. I am currently writing a book about teaching parents how to bring independent play back into their homes- I am a huge fan of your work. Thank you.
Thanks, Lizzie. I understand the challenge. But we have alrady been successful in teaching Play Club monitors (usually teachers) to take a truly hands-off approach. My instruction to them is to act like lifeguards on an ocean beach, not to tell the kids how to play, solve minor quarrels, or get concerned about minor bumps or bruises.. Their job is to be there only for real emergencies. I have been delighted to find that the monitors actually follow this and learn how competent kids are at looking out for themselves and one another when trusted do do so. A few schools already have after-school Play Club that goes more than an hour, with no rules except you have to stay on campus and don't deliberately hurt anyone. The school principal has to be on board with this--that's the first step--and the monitors must be trained to NOT intervene in the kids' play.
YES! I agree. Thanks so much for the response.
Lizzie
I guess I’ve encouraged my children in this area without being all that conscious of it, especially my son. In HS, my daughter rode a city bus to school everyday. Not a big deal, but the only one in her HS to do so, until she started driving at 16. She was also highly self-led in many areas growing up, and we celebrated that but were very attuned to her when she needed that, as well. She was always highly creative with her hands, making clay characters and board games, murals, etc—she worked in multiple theatre productions in every imaginable role throughout HS. She’s now 23 and teaches at a pottery studio, is a wonderful potter, and has clients as a social media manager—after graduating with a graphic design degree.
My son taught himself Japanese (from ages 11 to his current age of 18) and is now studying several more languages, the philosophy greats, and starting a language tutoring business while continuing his studies at SDSU (international business)—just finished his first year.
My husband and I sent him on two school trips with EF tours in HS that challenged the kids to be in unfamiliar environments helping others. He loved both but especially the trip where they had to work long hours to help build homes for residents.
He’s off to Japan next week for 6 weeks with a friend, to bike-ride the entire country from top to bottom. This was his own idea and they’ve created spreadsheets to be prepared financially and physically. I tried to instill these principles in my own way, and was clearly successful.
I am much less anxious about his upcoming trip than I would have been a year ago, due to understanding what’s at stake when kids don’t take physical risks and stay engaged and adventurous in the real world.
I had an easier time decades ago getting ample Free Play unsupervised than opportunities that required adult participation. Esp. w/ movies, malls. supermarkets, organized sports, museums, tennis courts, medical/dental care that all required transportation to other towns.
My 9 & 12 year old have been going out on the bus to nearby places because I want them to be comfortable in the world, know how to navigate the city, and not be so dependent. They love it. I'm lucky to live in a community where it's not so strange to see kids out and about in the city.