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Lila Krishna's avatar

I appreciate this post greatly, because I've long felt that the bad mental health among children is heavily rooted in a bad school life. The statistic that most represents this is the dip in teen suicide rates during school closures and sudden spike back up when schools reopened during the pandemic https://abc7ny.com/covid-pandemic-teen-suicide-rates/13526479/

A major aspect of this I feel is children aren't taught to be appropriately social by adults in the early years, and that just carries on. I notice in any setting (daycare pickup, parks, kids birthday parties) that parents don't nudge their children to talk to others around them. They also don't acknowledge any kids other than their own. I am a hit parent in my kid's daycare because I say hello to all the kids there, and take the sticks and rocks they offer to me. I don't even see other parents nudge their children to talk to other adults, like even at family events. Kids, even little ones, are expected to just talk to other kids and make their own way through a social event. I notice the difference a lot because I nudge my kid to perform all the social niceties and notice she has a much easier time as a result despite being a highly sensitive child who is easily upset.

In schools, it feels important that the teachers embrace their role as leaders. I notice a lot of teachers don't do this. You've got to try to have the children securely attached to you and see you as their natural leader. This helps them greatly to not worry about their place in the scheme of things, and they are much less likely to indulge in status games with the other children. These status games seem like the thing that causes the most stress in children.

Jonathan Haidt says phones are bad because bullying of and by girls goes onto social media. But why do girls bully in the first place? He talks of this as a completely normal thing, but it is FAR from a universal experience. It is status anxiety. And it can be prevented by strong teachers creating an embracing culture, and using their judgement to tell off bullying behavior. I read here on substack about so much ostracizing behavior that people my age experienced in American schools. As an Indian, I'm like "where were your teachers in shutting down that behavior?" because I went to a pretty poor school with large class sizes, and our teachers would shut down any hint of ostracism pretty hard with just stern words. And more than anything, the attitude among the parents was that this behavior is not normal and they EXPECTED the teachers to shut it down, not see it as a character-building exercise.

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Maureen McGurk's avatar

Remember that in April 2011, the architect of the Common Core, David Coleman said in his webinar "Bringing the Common Core to Life" that the change to CCSS was necessary because, "...as you grow up in this world you realize that people don't really give a sh*t about what you feel or what you think." It turns out that not caring about how people feel and think DOES matter if you want to create a positive school climate. Now look at the damage done. The group that wrote the standards (behind closed doors with no public accountability) was made up of mostly test company executives. Now the same people are trying to transfer materials over to label them Science of Reading (look up Dr. Elena Aydarova's research). Thank you so much for this letter Dr. Gray. It is so important for people to know how we got to this point.

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