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Peter Gray's avatar

Friends, thank you for all the thoughtful comments here. Because there are so many, and because some overlap with others, I will not attempt to respond individually. Instead, I plan to write a follow-up "thread" that will address the comments. I'm not sure when I will get to that. I hope soon, but I will certainly aim to do it within a week. My wife and I are leaving tomorrow for a few days at our cottage in the little village of Cabot, Vermont, where I graduated from high school and where they have the best Fourth of July parade you will find in any little village anywhere.

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Jennifer Engstrom's avatar

I am struggling with my emotions a bit on this one. I highly respect your work and agree with most of your conclusions—but I feel the same way about Haidt’s work. And I hate to see you stand against him, especially because in many ways, your goals align. I worry by opposing his conclusions, you may be limiting the reach and effectiveness of your own, and your conclusions work really well together.

Anecdotally, with my own gen z children, I see the negative consequences of social media pretty strongly. Now, could some of it be simply the middle school struggles we all experienced because of puberty and other universal changes that come with reaching the teen years? Sure—but I also know that my son’s access to porn would be much lower, and my daughter’s opportunity to be drawn in by the transgender “influencers” would have been next to zero. Are both of them already experiencing higher than normal levels of anxiety—absolutely, but there is also a genetic predisposition that makes this unavoidable, and social media comparisons make it worse.

They absolutely reduced their outdoor and free play time when they got phones, and since their friends did, too, no one goes out to play anymore.

My younger (right on the edge of being considered gen alpha) daughter didn’t want a phone until she got to middle school and knows she will be out of the social loop if she doesn’t have one. So she has one. Ugh! She would prefer her phone to backyard play with her younger brother—the only person around without a phone and willing to play outside.

We DO need to change school culture and increase free play time. 100%. But right now, my son is surrounded by other highschoolers just nose in the phone during any free time there is—there is no play happening. These things go hand in hand.

Another aspect of Haidt’s work includes what I would consider a vital change that took place in the middle of the last century—the meaning crisis. His work addresses that.

With the momentum his book has, you would do better to ride the wave than try to swim against it. As we all know from politics, people usually are more strongly led by how they feel than by cold reason. I hate to think you will fall on the wrong side of that equation.

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